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| it's been sometime since my last post. i've been really tied down with Uni crap.
it's literally driving me MENTAL it's not even funny.
anyhoo, i've only 1more essay to write and 1exam.
the glory of doing Media 
barely any exams. so no exam stress for me.weeeee..!!
i've been longing to write this but i guess time just never permitted AND i could not bring myself to.
it tore my heart. into pieces. when i heard the news. it was horrible.
devastating
so let's just hope i can pull through this yeah.
(i already feel myself choking )
it has been almost 7weeks(according to my darling couz) since YOU'VE left us.
the family
there's never been a moment you're not on my mind. in my heart.
at times i "survive" that thought. at times i just can't.
we were close. really close. but in a different way. it was not really the demonstrative sort. but we were.
i knew.
these 2beloved cousins of mine and i grew up together. our families are closely knitted i would admit.
closest compared to the rest of the 3million relatives we have
HE'S always been there as we grew up. couzzie and i had this cigarette keychain and we used to mimic the way HE smokes when we were young.
i clearly remember.
HE was like a dad to me too.
i remember the time when couzzie was studying in KL and was back in JB for the weekend, i took time to go over in the evening. as i reached the front of the house, got out of the car, there HE was. standing at the gate, opening it and smiling and at the same time telling me, "wow!!you know you're cousin's back huh so you came to spend time with her"
HE'D always tell me to study hard. ask me how many boyfriends i have and when i'd come back from melbourne for holidays, he'd ask me where's my white boyfriend
until he knew and saw one beside me
i'll NEVER forget that "death-stare" of HIS that HE'D give me..and then smile afta.
come pinch my arm from time to time, for no apparent reason.
come over to my grandparents' with the family for Chrissy.
note: DRUNK!!!but hilariously drunk
mum and HIM would go on this argument and the rest of us would just sit and laugh our arses of cos seriously, it was H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!
then aunty may would smack his arm and tell him "sayang!!!enough already"
hahahha...
HE was indeed a simple man and a man of few words(but NOT when he's drunk)
a couple of years ago, HE took couzzie, a friend of ours - Rina, myself and Joshie for a ride at the back of the lorry he once had.
excuse was: to go around the housing area to see if there were "robbers" LOL!
i could go on but it might just take a tad too long.it's been an hour already since i starting writing this.
with a few "breaks" of cos.
anyhoo, we all lost HIM to a heart attack.
HE was apparently at a shop near gramzie's having lunch with his mates when he just collapsed.
gramzie got a called and rushed up to try his best to resuscitate. however, HE was already going apparently
~* My Dearest Uncle Jim *~
i was at work that day. finished my first shift and had like an hour break or something between the first and next shift.
it was a sunny day and ice-cream so yelled out to me
the gurls(Thu & Nat) and i were at the lawn just lying down.
had a misscall from a weird mobile number i had no clue of so i decided to call back(normally i don't) whilst walking to get my yummy ice cream.
called back to find out it was my aunty, crying.
barely 15seconds since i left the gurls and i got the news.
instantly, i turned around and went back.
devastating.
(worst bit, i was NOT allowed to tell couzzie at all till she reached home)
i was made to work cos The Man was not gonna be home.
so me at home alone like that = not a good idea at all.
it was insanely hard to do so though
i'm still finding it hard to believe and cope with the thought though. i can't imagine how and what couzzie and emi would be going through.
i remember during that time, couzzie would tell me that i sounded MORE sad than her.
she called me a cry baby
why that lil'bitch of mine
yes, i'm the emotional-wreck compared to her. not sure about emi though. perhaps we're both at par
couzzie's been really really super strong, i amaze and lift my hats off at her strength.
it's indescribable.
i told her i lack the "STRONG" genes in the family
i'm like mr cyril clark (my gramzie)
all emotional and stuff..hahah!
yup, i call him by his name at times...just for the sake of it
i can't wait for December to come. time to see that family.spend time with couzzie(and she BETTER be gettin that lil'arse of hers back to jb often i tell u*gives her the dagger stare*)
nenenee poo poo*couzzie's style*
hahaah...
alrite, i think i've said about enough.
you can read more and see pics of the family(not of my uncle tho) during the wake and prayers *here* if you like cos couzzie's the Ultimate Darling and did a post especially for me...
she knew i'd like to see what's happening there since i'm 32198574million miles away
feel free to leave a msg on her chatterbox..i'm sure she wouldn't mind.she's Awesome
prob mention you know me or something so she knows it's not some random person she's talkin to
sorry no pics to upload at the mo.i've just been sitting my arse at home...and have not gone anywhere.
*i have NO ONE to call uncle jim now
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| upset.
hurt.
disappointed. truly.
deeply scarred.
numb.very numb.
i give up. and won't bother no more.
what's the point?in the end, it is ME who ends up being hurt.
hurt so bad, it breaks my heart.
i never thought it would come to this.never.
sensitive?too harsh?you might think.
if a Friend truly understands another, a Friend WILL not act as such.
a TRUE Friend will always stand by you, no matter what.
NOT turn their back on you and sway together with the wind.
the wound is already there. no matter what any of you do, it will never heal.
well, for now at least.and perhaps a long while.
i gave you my trust, my undivided attention.
i gave you my love.
i gave you my all, but it wasn't treasured.
so this time, you've all just lost it all.
growing too attached seems like the worst thing to do. i enjoyed every single bit we had but it's come to a point where there's this obstruction.
this rather huge obstruction between us.
and sadly, you caused it.
but thankfully, i'm now more acquainted with the significance of a True Friend.
if you ever want to know anything, just know you HURT ME bad.real bad
i'm scarred.
p.s: thanks my pwecious darling for being my pillar of strength.for being there.
at least i know there's someone out there who truly cares
**********
and now for YOU..YOU BEAST!
Queen of all EVIL-EST WITCHES!
(i wouldn't even term you a bitch cos i don't want to insult one)
i hope you're really happy with what you're doing.
perhaps you're just plain DUMB,
or playing plain DUMB, that you don't have a clue in what you're doing.
you think your money can buy friendship?!
well you seriously need to snap back to reality dimwit!!!
and you constantly question why you never have anyone around you?
perhaps you should take some time off your evilness and THINK!
carry on and i'll just see how far you go.
cos at the end, i know *I* WILL have the last laugh.
i know that for sure.
it has to come from the HEART you retard.
NOT with money. and NOT by just going along with the preference of others.
and not having your own thoughts.your own stand.
don't think your ways can't be read.
i know EXACTLY what you're trying to do.
oh well, i hope you're content now.
just so you know (due to YOUR shallow brains, you might not have gotten any of the hints i've dropped, some of which are SO OBVIOUS) :-
1) I STILL HATE YOU...to the HIGHEST degree possible.
i seriously wish i NEVER EVER knew you. YOU'RE my BIGGEST regret!
2)STOP trying so hard to get back into my good books cos it's seriously not worth any nano second
that you're trying.
3)the MORE i see you, the MORE my hatred is building.
4)EVERYTHING i see in you is EVIL.you're nothing but FULL OF MALEVOLENCE!
gawd!your retarded shallowness *IS* rather amusing at times to be honest
**chapter closed**
**********
i really should get back to Uni work
really really looking forward to Jan
(looks at Rockstar and Fluffy )
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FINALLY the
Net at home is up and running
(how i felt "tortured" not having it for close to 2weeks i reckon)
Oh well, much has happened(good stuff Definitely) but i don't think i will sit
here and narrate.
i've got to continue my researching...in hope to find MORE references. urgh!
But, you'll get the gist of it overall
first up, i went to get another new hairdo
well, it's not very far off from what it has been(despite the fact that it's
shortER now...Obviously!) but it's got this funky thing to it...(NO,
it DOES NOT look like any celebrities' hair)
i'll put pics up when i have taken some cos at the mo, i've only got a couple
which look retarded(i think) and are NOT publishable[don't care if there's no
such word..lol!]
took them just to send to my old man and lady.
they wanted to have a look.
My pwecious baybie's birthday gift FINALLY happened...like omg!!!
seriously...
his birthday was in June..and it only happened erm....sometime late august??
haha..
well, it was planned wayyyy before June though...but since it was dependent on
weather conditions, couldn't help but just wait for the right time.
so, i took him on a Hot Air Balloon flight
it DEFINITELY was a magnificent experience and he was just over the moon!(he
had no clue btw)
it's something that you'd just go once perhaps...and you'll never forget that
experience..cos it's pretty costly for this thing i must admit.
i took the package which included breakfast(after the flight) for the both of
us at Langham Hotel, melbourne's
five star luxury hotel apparently..
i woke him up that morning at like 4:45am
made sure he woke up and got changed.
can't exactly remember what i told him the reason for us having to go out so
early but anyhoo, i sure did get questioned like 3million times!
OMG!!*dies*
oh...especially cos i blindfolded him
hee!!just to add some fun.
got abit cranky but he was fine after sometime...
so i got him to sit in the passenger seat and i drove to Langham.
still, the poor man had no clue..but when he found out, hehe...the look on his
face was just priceless
so to cut a long story short, it sure was freezing that morning...we went for
the ride and then back to the hotel for brekkie and champagne.
a couple of piccies below but the rest will be up on FB yeah
the early morning fog
balloon in the process of being blown up
that's the massive flame behind us blowing the balloon up
there were 2 other balloons besides ours
breath-taking City view
sunrise
**********
My Rockstar Bestie was in Melbourne for a couple of days and we had such whacky times
she came over(to her second home) for dinner...met Snuggles
we went clubbing...and on the final day, quality-time-lunch together, shopping and coffee before i had to head off to work
We've got plans for when i head to Malaysia/Singapore for holidays
she's gonna take her two weeks leave and spend MOST of it with meeeeeeee!!!!!
we're going overseas
**********
partying pics
**********
soooo Gorgeous..omg!!*dies*
Thank you so much darling munchkin you just never fail do you?!!
**********
my first Champy from MY dearest Rockstar Bestie!!!
loving it SO much..and she got one for herself too...hehe!!
Thanks a whole load Darling...mwah!!
and it folds to become this!!!
gawd!!how convenient!saves storage space too...just what i need
heheh...
**********
omg!!i think i should really get on with my work...how time flies when you're sooo engrossed in blogging.urgh!!
distraction.
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